Oliver North has a great article on Jane Fonda who is "coming out" in favor of the U. S. pulling out of Iraq. She's going to tour the country in a bus powered by vegetable oil. Isn't that special.

Ollie has a way of cutting to the chase. He has some recommendations for stops Jane should make while on her little tour.

Be sure to visit the graves of America's heroes at Arlington Cemetery before making your final stop at a polished granite wall on the National Mall. There, you will find inscribed the names of 58,249 heroes you spat upon when perched atop that VC gun.

Hopefully at some point during your Jihadist journey, you will bump into Sgt. Christopher Missick of the 319th Signal Battalion. While in Iraq, Missick met hundreds of good Americans through his blog, "A Line in the Sand." Home now, he and a fellow veteran are driving around the country -- fueled by conventional gasoline -- to meet some of the patriots -- his "web of support" -- who sent letters, packages and prayers. He wants to personally thank them and "meet the heart of America."

That's the kind of support the troops appreciate, not your caravan of craven critics.

If she was surprised by the Vietnam War veteran who spat in her face at her book signing a few months ago, she's in for a real eye opener when she starts touring middle and southern America. I can assure you, she will not be well received in my community if she chooses to appear.

posted by Dash | 8:05 AM | |

I know it has been discussed at least 2,439, 864 times (that I've counted so far), but why is it that the shorter, seemingly worthless posts (that you whip out in 20 seconds or less) get more comments than the ones that take deliberative thought and considerable time?

For example, this one from my friend That 1 Guy at Drunken Wisdom.

Well, Harvey at Bad Example has the answer. That's one smart dude over there I tell ya.

posted by Dash | 7:26 AM | |

Helen Thomas has raised the bar. It's not dramatic enough to threaten to leave the country if a Republican wins the white house ala Alec Baldwin. Now, you have to threaten to kill yourself if one you don't like simply runs for the office.

REPORTER VOWS TO 'KILL SELF' IF CHENEY RUNS FOR PRESIDENT

Thu Jul 28 2005 15:32:13 ET
Veteran wire reporter Helen Thomas is vowing to 'kill herself' if Dick Cheney announces he is running for president.The newspaper HILL first reported the startling claim on Thursday. MORE"The day Dick Cheney is going to run for president, I'll kill myself," she told the HILL. "All we need is one more liar."Thomas added, "I think he'd like to run, but it would be a sad day for the country if he does."

Is it any wonder these people can't be taken seriously? She's going to kill herself? If she weren't so old and ugly, I'd call her a Drama Queen.

Let's see who turns out to be the liar.

posted by Dash | 1:31 PM | |

Ted Kennedy is a hypocrite... again.

Supreme Court nominee John G. Roberts "will be expected to answer fully" any questions about his views on controversial issues that could come before the court in the future, according to Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.). But, during the 1967 confirmation debate over future Justice Thurgood Marshall, Kennedy argued that Supreme Court nominees should "defer any comments" on such matters.

How is it that these guys like Kennedy and Kerry can flip-flop on these issues and not be held accountable? How is it that the world doesn't recognize these guys as hypocritical idiots? Obviously, all politicians want to lean things their way, but this is just blatant, and very few people are calling them on it

Because Judge Roberts has written relatively few opinions in his brief tenure as a judge, his views on a wide variety of vital issues are still unknown," Kennedy charged. "What little we know about his views and values lends even greater importance and urgency to his responsibility to provide the Senate and the American people with clear answers."

I submit that Americans know enough about Senator Kennedy's "views and values" to be able to disregard anything he says and to boot his sorry ass out of office. He's been on the government dole long enough - especially if all he's going to do is sit up there and obstruct progress.

posted by Dash | 10:05 AM | |

While surfing this morning, I ran across some really good posts.

Check these out:

Sadie had a good White Trash Wednesday post yesterday (I wonder who she's talking about?).

Zonker sent Lady Mac a picture of his really weird looking cat (for some reason).

Christina has discovered new undies (or not).

Shoe is wondering how all those pictures got on her camera while in NOLA.

Basil has some good ones for Breakfast this morning (as usual).

Pirates Cove agrees with the ACLU (for once).

posted by Dash | 7:35 AM | |

Y'all know I just got back from a wonderful trip to one of my favorite cities. This particular trip was great mainly because of the company I kept, but I've always enjoyed visiting New Orleans. Oh sure, the Hurricanes and Louisiana Lemonades are cool, but what I really like about the Big Easy is the FOOD!

Anybody who knows me, knows I love to eat. My motto is, "If you're gonna eat, eat well." I'm not talking about gorging yourself night and day, or binge eating. I'm talking about eating what you want to eat and what you like to eat. It's one of the benefits of being a free American.

Like most Americans, I could stand to lose a few pounds around the mid-section, but I wouldn't really consider myself to be "overweight." That's one of the reasons I'm upset with the government trying to get involved in what I eat.

I remember reading an article a while back about a lawsuit that was filed in California against Nabisco. The person filing the suit said the trans fat in Oreos was so bad, the cookies should be banned. He said we have to protect our children from this danger.

Soft drink vending machines are being pulled from schools. This is supposed to improve the health of our children. Do these kids not have access to soft drinks when not at school? I'm all in favor of trying to feed kids healthy food, but this is kind of silly in my opinion. Are they going to outlaw doughnuts and potato chips in schools, too?

I'm sure you all remember the lawsuits against the fast food restaurants Wendy's, McDonald's, Burger King, KFC, etc. The contention is that these restaurants are responsible for obesity. Really? It's the restaurant's fault? Damn! I always thought the person who was stuffing the Big Macs in his mouth should bear the blame. I don't remember anyone holding a gun to my head and forcing me to "supersize" my order. And do we eat all our meals at fast food places? I eat about three fourths of my meals at home.

Some people in our government want to control what we eat by way of our wallets. They figure if they tax it enough, people will quit buying it. They think applying taxes on fatty foods, beer and TV sets will help prevent couch potatoes. They also think if they put more taxes on cars, we'll ride bikes and walk more. Yeah, right.

This anti-obesity campaign we see might sound ludicrous and amusing if it weren't for the successes of the anti-tobacco campaign that was based on the same premise. Our government thinks we individuals are not responsible for our choices. Just like with the tobacco companies who were blamed for people smoking and dying from smoking related diseases, the food producers are the next target. It's the next logical step. The government is going to protect us from ourselves.

I think it's all part of the plan to someday have socialized medicine. The government is going to improve the overall health of the nation. Health-care costs go up in general because certain people don't know how to take care of themselves. Through their overindulgence, they hurt all of us. So the government is going to take care of us.

The question is do we really want a country like that? Do we want the government telling us what we can and can't eat? I can tell you I don't. I like eating my cookies and potato chips.

Also, I don't want to think about 15 dollar hamburgers or 8 dollar bottles of beer. If you don't believe it can come to that, ask the New Yorkers how much they're paying for cigarettes. Is there any doubt that certain kinds of food will be next?

Let's say no to the food Nazis.

posted by Dash | 1:30 PM | |

If this is what blogmeets are all about, count me in from now on. All I can say is, Wow! These guys and gals know how to tie one on.

From the time I arrived in the Crescent City, I was in heaven. Even though the temperature reminded me of another place, it was great. Actually, the heat was tolerable. I'm thinking the copious servings of hurricanes, margaritas, bourbon, jello shots and beer might have had something to do with that. And even though a few of us (who will remain nameless) were over- served, there were no real casualties that I know of.

I'm not going to go into a lot of detail about everything we did while there, but let's just say we painted the town. The cast of characters were as friendly and generous as any I've ever known. Like I said earlier, these are what we call "good people."

First there was was Zonker. I had heard over and over what a genuinely nice and funny guy he was, but I was undersold. Take every good thing you hear about him and double or triple it. He is what I'd call a class act with an unending wit. And he is one I am lucky enough to call friend.

Then we have the Feisty One, Miss Christina. The eternal hostess who is constantly thinking about everyone else before considering herself, is Christina. Her restaurant recommendations and directions to wherever we wanted to go were perfect. Christina, you're a hoot. Your quick wit and ready retorts kept us in stitches the whole weekend. Your stories in person are just as dynamic and entertaining as those you write about. You're the best!

Karen met us on Friday night and was delightful. I wish I'd had more time to visit with you. But, we'll be back, so get ready. Thanks for letting us invade your city for a few days.

The consummate southern lady was Key. Although I didn't get much time to visit with her, I really enjoyed the conversations we did have and could tell she is a real person. I hope to get another chance to get to know you better.

The weekend would not have been the same without Velociman. How many different hats can one person sport in a weekend? I think we now have the answer to that one. Although his famous sense of humor preceded him, I was pleasantly surprised to find a mild-mannered gentleman. Of course, when it was time to cut loose and party, V-man was right in front. Dude, I'd party with you anytime, anywhere.

Denny came with his guitar and entertained half the masses on Friday night and into the wee hours of Saturday morning. That guy can pick a mean guitar and he has inspired me to learn how to play. I know it will take me a lifetime to get anywhere near that good, but it will be worth the effort. I really enjoyed visiting with you Denny. You are full of great stories and a natural conversationalist. I hope to see you again, too.

Shoe drove all the way from west Texas to be with us. I was happy to meet her after being a fan of her blog for a good while. It was also great to see another Texan in the mix. I think we have the same interest in Texas music, which is really cool. We'll have to get you over here, to my neck of the woods to see some live music. Gruene Hall is spitting distance from the house.

Christina's bodyguard and best friend Susan was there. Even though she's not a blogger, she just blended right into the group. It seems she had the right idea about getting out of the heat on Saturday. She hit the air-conditioned and free-drink serving casino. And to add to that, she won a couple hundred bucks. Susan, it was great seeing you.

The bodacious and vivacious Kelley was there. Wow! What a fun lady. She has more energy and is more fun than any three people I know. If Kelley is around you will be sure to have the best conversation with humor and intelligence available anywhere. Kelley, I like partying with you, lady. Let's just say you got it goin' on.

Saving the best for last is a double treat. Sam and his lovely wife Barbie were "downtown!" How can I say it? Sam, you and Barbie made the weekend. Seriously. Without you, there would not have been a NOLA. You got the ball rolling and saw it through with abandon. Barbie, you are a lot of fun and I look forward to seeing you again. Sam, you are the freakin' man. I've never laughed so hard in my entire life. Thanks for making this thing a hit.

There you have it. Let's do it again. I'm ready.

posted by Dash | 7:07 AM | |

I'm back home from the Big Easy and planning to spend a little time allowing my brain swelling to go down. I'll post tomorrow about the trip, but I wanted to give you a glimpse into what it was all about.

For your viewing pleasure we have Velociman, Sam and yours truly posing in the door of a curbside bar near Jackson Square.

To say we had a big time would be the understatement of the year.

posted by Dash | 5:34 PM | |

If anyone is looking for me, you'll find me here.

Have a good weekend, I'm planning to.

posted by Dash | 9:52 PM | |

Star Trek icon James Doohan died today. The chief engineer of the Starship Enterprise is gone at 85. I wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard (or said), "Beam me up, Scotty."

Good-bye Scotty. We will miss you.

Live long and prosper.

posted by Dash | 12:30 PM | |

President Bush appointed John Roberts to replace Sandra Day O'Connor on the U.S. Supreme Court. Most clear thinkers know Roberts is a brilliant lawyer and judge and would be an excellent member of our highest court.

Already, the liberals have started the fight against him. Chucky Schumer and Dick(head) Durbin have come out to say they are going to fight it. Feminist Susan Estridge is heartbroken Bush didn't pick another woman.

What's with these people? Bush picked what many would call a moderate conservative, which is what he said he would pick. Did they think he was going to pick a liberal? Get real.

If the left-wingers like Teddy Kennedy and Harry Reid make a mockery of this confirmation process, which it's almost sure they will, they deserve to be ridiculed.

I'm not saying they should just give the guy a pass, but if they drag this thing out and ask stupid questions just to hear themselves grandstanding, they'll lose any respect they may still have from reasonable thinking Americans who actually pay attention to such things.

posted by Dash | 7:15 PM | |

Good News From Iraq, No. 31 is over at Chrenkoff.

Nation-building is never quick and never easy; hard-work and heartache are today, and the results often only years if not decades ahead. But the Iraqi people, with the assistance of the Coalition, have commenced their journey, and despite all the hardships, every day is another step forward. Below, some of these often much under-reported and unappreciated steps from the past three weeks.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
-Confucious

posted by Dash | 6:48 AM | |

Jerry Seinfeld was in San Antonio this past weekend. It seems he likes playing the Majestic Theater downtown. He did two sold out shows on Saturday where the tickets ran from about $50 - $75 each.

Most of us remember his sit-com that was co-created by Jerry himself. It was "a show about nothing." Many of us thought it was a show about idiotic nonsense, but couldn't not watch it because it was so funny.

To say Jerry Seinfeld has been successful would be an understatement. Forbes magazine has called "Seinfeld" the "most profitable single piece of entertainment in history." That means more profitable than Cosby, Titanic and Jurasic Park.

Seinfeld continues to be huge in syndication, earning more since the show went off the air than during its nine-season run. Poor Jerry. How's he going to afford college for his kids?

Although Seinfeld has settled down with a wife and family, he continues to play theaters across the country and his new lifestyle seems to give him more fodder for his routine. You can expect to hear all about the internet, cell phones, Superman, cereal, the obsession with high priced coffee shops, the latest news, etc. He has a way of making everyday things in life funny.

The public still seems to love this guy's humor and he continues to take advantage. The groundbreaking fourth season of "Seinfeld" is now available on DVD. Seinfeld says, "The energy was starting to swirl. The tornado was beginning to form. Everything was just a wild guess, and it takes a while to get confident that you're guessing pretty good. I think sometime in Season 4, we realized we were were guessing pretty good."

In the meantime Seinfeld is working on some other projects. He's producing, writing and doing voice-over work for his computer-animated "Bee Movie," due out sometime in 2007. According to the scoop, he is also working on a documentary on the history of standup comedy with Chris rock.

Who would have thought somebody could become filthy rich talking about "nothing?" I do that all the time and I haven't been able to make a dime from it yet. Maybe there's still time.

posted by Dash | 12:30 PM | |

The following is from an article in Housekeeping Monthly, dated May 13, 1955.

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
• Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
• Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
• Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
• Be happy to see him.
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
• Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
• Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
• Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
• Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as a minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
• Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
• A good wife always knows her place.

Now, I was born not too many years after 1955, and I considered my parents to be pretty typical as far as what their roles were as spouses and parents. My mom stayed home to take care of the house and kids while my dad was at work.

She cooked dinner almost every night along with all the other endless jobs that come with being a mom at home with kids. But, I don't remember her doing all these things described in this article.

Occasionally, my dad would come home late after stopping by the pub for a few drinks after a long day, but my mom didn't like it very much. If he had stayed out all night, there would surely have been hell to pay when he did show up.

In today's world, this sounds pretty incredible. In fact, I'm wondering what my wife is going to say to me after she reads this. I'm pretty sure I know what she'll think about it.

Wish me luck. If you don't ever hear from me again, you'll know why.

posted by Dash | 10:46 AM | |

Molly Ivins may be a left-winger, but she has some integrity. In her column on Tuesday, she corrected a mistake she made earlier. I say, Bravo!

In the days of not letting the facts get in the way of a good story, Molly checked hers and had the guts to publicly correct herself. While it would have been preferable to check her facts before she wrote the piece to begin with, I applaud her correction.

There have been estimates as high as 1 million civilians killed by Saddam, though most agree on the 300,000 to 400,000 range, making my comparison to 20,000 civilian dead in this war pathetically wrong.

I was certainly under no illusions regarding Saddam Hussein, whom I have opposed through human rights work for decades. My sincere apologies. It is unforgivable of me not have checked. I am so sorry.

Hat tip to Peoria Pundit who says:

I admire people who admit their mistakes. Count liberal columnist Molly Ivins among them.

I don't think this is going to make her any less opposed to what we are doing over there now. But she seems to be showing a greater sense of personal honor than Michael Moore and others.

Amen, Bill!

posted by Dash | 12:50 PM | |

Since I have daughters, I'm often asked what I'm going to do when the boys start hangin' around the Dash Cave wanting to make time with them.

Sometimes I think back to this story about A Gun and A Shovel. While I like to think of such a scenario as justifiable, I don't exactly relish the idea of spending my "golden" years in the hoosegow, were I to get caught.

Over the last few years, I've thought about different ways to put the fear of Dad in the mind of a young suitor, but then I remember that I wasn't very intimidated by girls' fathers when I was in hot pursuit. Maybe it was because I was a good actor and could charm the parents pretty easily. Or maybe, back in the day, it was fairly understood that what was going to happen was going to happen and hopefully we would remember to be responsible when the hormones were raging. Who knows?

So, what to do? Now that I'm finding myself in the unenviable position of father of the suitee, I'm looking for ideas.

I did happen across this document from Sissy at And What Next. If she doesn't mind, I will be using it. Maybe it can be used as evidence that I did warn the boy before I was forced to take him out of the dating pool.

posted by Dash | 11:30 AM | |

Marriage is a great institution. If you must be in an institution, marriage is a good one to be in. I've been happily married for a lot of years and one of the reasons I say "happily" is that there is almost always a sense of humor hanging around. Even when things get a little rough, we seem to be able to find something to laugh about.

A friend of mine sent me some oldies, but goodies on marriage and I felt obliged to post them today. Here goes.

On MARRIAGE

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

Young son: "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy: "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the
nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After
a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber on the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."

posted by Dash | 9:42 AM | |

The BBC has decided to not use the word "terrorist" when referring to the cowardly pieces of excrement who randomly murdered and maimed hundreds of innocent people in London last week. They will use the word "bombers" instead. How nice.

The BBC's guidelines state that its credibility is undermined by the "careless use of words which carry emotional or value judgments".

Oh, it would be "careless" of them to use such a hurtful word to decribe them. The word carries such emotional and value judgements. Lord knows, we shouldn't judge people who indiscriminately murder innocent citizens. We wouldn't want to hurt their feelings, now would we?

This is precisely why these "terrorists" keep do this. If we continue to worry about their feelings, we will lose.

If these islamo-fascists aren't terrorists, I want the BBC and all the other appeasers to tell me what is.

posted by Dash | 8:20 AM | |

This is just great. Senator Pat Roberts just returned from a trip to Gitmo. He reports on what he saw and it's enough to make most Americans' blood boil. I say "most" because there are still a lot of lefties out there saying the "detainees" are being treated badly.

"They have a Muslim menu down there of 113 dishes," said Roberts, chairman of the US Senate Intelligence Committee.

"I saw them playing soccer. I saw them playing ping-pong. I saw them playing ... I think it was volleyball," he said.

US camp guards "strictly observe with reverence all of the prayer calls, five times a day, 20 minutes," he said.

"And in regards to the health care, my word, they have better health care than many of my small communities in Kansas."

According to Roberts inmate treatment there "is carrots, not sticks. We are treating people humanely."

Meanwhile the US soldiers guarding the inmates "are getting very rough treatment from some of these detainees -- and I don't call them 'detainees,' I call them 'terrorists' -- throwing excrement at them and everything else."

The US guards "are more worried about what's happening in Congress in regards to their future than they are the terrorists," Roberts said.

I agree with Gun-Toting Liberal's rant yesterday. He says that the left wingers are shooting our military recruiters in the foot by making these soldiers pull duty in such conditions. Who would volunteer to guard these terrorists while being treated like that? At the same time, our own lawmakers are saying the terrorists are being mistreated. I say Bullshit!

I'm going to get some flack from some of the "moderates", but it wouldn't hurt my feelings if we just dumped them all (detainees) into the Gulf and turned them into shark bait. In my opinion, they're lower than pond scum and the only good terrorist is a dead terrorist.

posted by Dash | 3:01 PM | |

I have survived another weekend of hard labor. Another chapter in the story of the self-imposed sentence of DIY landscaping in the heat of the summer has come to a close.

Twenty pallets of Tifway 419 hybrid bermudagrass hit my yard at 0700 on Saturday morning. I was impressed. The dispatcher told me it would be there at 7 and it was. Actually, it was about 20 minutes early. Since I live out of the city in a relatively new development, delivery drivers are quite often late. But, this guy got there early and had the turf unloaded in about an hour. I figured he wanted to take advantage of the cooler morning temperature.

So, with my hired help for the day, we set out to install 8000 square feet of turf before it got scorched by the Texas sun. I thought it would have been easier, but after two hours of seriously humpin' it, we had gone through only five pallets. I quietly said to myself - this is going to be a long, hot mother of a day.

The temperature only hit 98 in the mid-day, so I took solace in the fact that it could have been worse. Just two days earlier, we had finished up a straight week of 100 plus days.

While the Gulf Coast was preparing for more water than anyone should have to handle, we were praying for rain. Even now as I try to keep the sod moist so that it can become established before fall, we hope for any natural water event we can get. So far, it's not happening. I'm scared to think about what my water bill will be next month.

Once the new yard around my house is up and going, I'll reap the benefits. First, it looks mahvelous, honey. That lush, green carpet is great to look at and walk on with your bare feet. The additional benefits are economical and ecological in nature.

A well maintained lawn helps reduce the heat that builds up around a house in the summer months. That should help with my cooling demand, which will hopefully translate into lower electricity bills in those hot months.

Second is the filtering action. We live in an aquifer recharge zone which means most of the water that hits the ground eventually makes it to the aquifer that gives us water during the year. Because of the propensity for drought around here, the aquifer is very important. The grass roots act as a filter to keep potentially harmful chemicals and such out of our water supply. I likes me some clean water.

So, I'm still alive; although, my back and left knee would argue otherwise. Sunday was spent filling holes in the new turf and making sure it stayed moist. I have about six sprinklers that I rotate around the yard at different times of the day.

This landscaping project has been hard, but I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. There will always be things to work on out there, but if I get the bulk of it done this summer, I'll be in pretty good shape and my body will thank me for giving it the winter off.

For now, I'm happy to be back to work where I can get a little rest.

posted by Dash | 1:30 PM | |

Prayers and condolences go out to all of our English brethren in their time of need. We stand united against the evil Islamofascists who seek to destroy our freedoms and liberties. Britain will not back down from this cowardly attack, but will fight back with unending resolve.

"We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender."
- Winston Churchill, 1940 in The House Of Commons, During The Battle of Britain.



God be with Britain.

H/T to Feisty Christina and Sadie.

posted by Dash | 10:49 AM | |

No, not the 2012 Olympics in London. I'm talking about the impending bloodbath regarding the Supreme replacement of Sandy O'Connor. It's always a contentious affair, but this one promises to be the worst we've ever seen.

If history is any indication, the battle is much worse when a Republican president makes the appointment. Brent Bozell has an article today that illustrates that fact.

He says ever since '87 when Robert Bork was trashed by the Democrats, the mantra has been: If you're conservative, you're disqualified - period.

Reporters quickly assured viewers this "titanic battle" that is guaranteed to be knock-down, drag-out, wall-to-wall ugly. They didn't wonder: Why does this always happen with Republican nominations, but not Democratic ones? In 1993, President Clinton nominated Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who was calmly approved by a vote of 96 to 3. In 1994, Clinton nominated Stephen Breyer, who was confirmed by a vote of 87 to 9. By contrast, all hell broke loose with Robert Bork and Clarence Thomas, with 58 senators against the one, and 48 votes against the other. The same pattern occurs with attorney general nominees: 42 votes against John Ashcroft, 36 against Alberto Gonzales, and zero against Janet Reno. Why?

With the more recent partisan fighting over Bush's nominations, does anybody think the Democrats are going pass any conservative he appoints?

Let's get ready to rumble.

posted by Dash | 3:05 PM | |

There I was, minding my own business and out of nowhere came another tag. I was spending my holiday weekend slaving away in my yard in the 100 degree heat and what do I get for my trouble, other than a sunburn, dehydration and a nice lawn that looks like the number nine fairway?

I get tagged for a meme. This time the perp is none other than the Red Hat (or should that be Red Hot?) Diva Pammy from Lollygaggin. She thought it would really cool to see what ol' Dash thinks about the subject.

Okay. For Pammy, I'll play.

Here's the deal - list three people you disagree with. That's easy enough, but there's a catch. You must also be able to say something nice about these three people.

Well, let's see. I'm having a really difficult time with that second part, but here goes:

1. Willie Nelson - I disagree with his politics. He's a liberal Democrat, but most artists, actors, etc. are. I will overlook that fact because I love his music. He's a native Texan who came back to his home state when folks in Nashville were not too kind to him. Now he's an icon.

2. Bill Clinton - I disagree with him for obvious reasons (Hillary being one). I think he is off-base with his politics and he shamed the office of President. It's not that easy to be impeached, but he made it look easy with his shenanigans. The nice thing I can say about him is the guy has the ability to speak like very few I've seen. His southern charm and eloquence seem to put people at ease no matter what the subject. Although I don't like him, I'd probably enjoy playing a round of golf with him. I hear he has an awesome cigar stash, too.

3. Catherine Zeta Jones - I disagree with her choice of a husband. I know some women like older men, but Michael Douglas has to be at least 40 years older than she is. And then to make it worse, she went and had a child with Gramps. It's her life and she's certainly free to make her own decisions, but I'm free to disagree with them. The nice thing... are you kidding? She's a complete and total knockout. From a physical standpoint, the woman is as close to a ten as possible (and everybody knows there ain't no tens). And yes, my wife is aware of my lust for her. Have I told you how much Catherine reminds me of my wife?

UPDATE: Since the ever ebullient and observant Amelie was first to notice my shortcomings by not finishing the meme, I hereby tag her. I also tag the next two eligible commenters on the post in Moogie and That 1 Guy. And if Pammy would like to come up with another three, you have my full support.

posted by Dash | 1:16 PM | |

I heard about this before, but I thought it was a joke. Nobody would be so stupid. No sane person would actually put a permanent tattoo on her forehead to advertise something. And she only got $10,000. I'd have had a hard time agreeing to it for $10 million. Well, maybe not too hard. I guess that would be enough to buy a new hat every day.

She says she's been through a lot lately - a failed marriage, deaths of several family members, her son wasn't doing well in school. So, she wanted to get some money for a private education for her son. Okay, that's understandable, but a permanent tattoo? On her freakin' forehead?

"I really want to do this," she said. "To everyone else, it seems like a stupid thing to do. To me, $10,000 is like $1 million. I only live once, and I'm doing it for my son."

Even the tattoo artist spent seven hours trying to talk her out of it. I guess he could have refused to do it, but she would have just gone to another one. I wouldn't have done it if I were him. There are some things you just don't do to people.

How long do you think it's going to take for her to wake up and say, "Holy Shit! what have I done to myself?" How long of her kid getting beaten up at school because his mother is a freak, will it take before she realizes she made a bad decision? When the money runs out (and it won't take long), she's going to be looking for another way to raise money.

Let's think about how this is going to affect her life in other ways. Is anybody in his right mind going to want to marry her with "GOLDEN PALACE. COM" tattooed on her forehead? I think not. Is anybody going to want to hire her? Um... let's see. I can think of only one place that would consider it. Who do you think would have the upper hand in those negotiations? Not her.

Here's the interview.

Golden Palace Manager: So, you would like a job here?

Kari Smith: Um... duh.

GP Mgr: Any special skills or education that would qualify you?

KS: Does being a total dumbass count?

GP Mgr: Okay. Can you wear a skimpy dress and serve drinks to our patrons for minimum wage?

KS: Do I have a choice?

GP Mgr: Well, maybe we could train you to be a dealer, but we could still only pay you minimum wage.

KS: I'll take it.

I feel sorry for her. No, I really do. She's obviously either insane or ... insane. I don't see any other explanation. She's lost her cotton pickin' mind (if she ever had one) and her son is going to suffer because of it.

That's the ironic part of this whole thing. The kid is the reason she says she did this and he's going to be the one who's hurt the most by it. I can't imagine the cruel life he will have to endure because of this.

posted by Dash | 9:00 AM | |

In my business I have the pleasure of working with some of the most eminent architects and engineers in the country. These people design incredible buildings. Unfortunately, a lot of these types are "ground breakers" or "innovators" if you will. I say "unfortunately" because a lot of their ideas that look great on paper haven't been implemented before and it's usually the builder who gets to work out the details on how to make certain aspects of it work.

That's where I come in. I'm the one who (although I do not have an engineering or architectural degree) gets to make the plan work. I'm also the one who gets to tell the owner how much his architect's "vision" is going to cost him. Savvy building owners and developers understand this part of construction, so it's not usually a big issue.

However, some owners who don't have a lot of experience with the process from schematic design and design development all the way through the actual construction phase, tend to be a little, shall we say "apprehensive" when it comes to the thought that the engineer just might be unsure about how something is going to work. And who can blame him when he's shelling out millions of dollars to build something?

Quite often I have to sit the owner down and explain to him that engineers are not like regular people. Although they might talk like normal people, they certainly don't think like normal people.

Here are some examples that begin to illustrate what I'm trying to say.

Understanding Engineers - Lesson One
Two engineering students were crossing the campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Understanding Engineers - Lesson Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Lesson Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Lesson Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Lesson Five
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers - Lesson Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the female body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline next to a recreational area?"

Understanding Engineers - Lesson Seven
"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"

Understanding Engineers - Lesson Eight
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

Understanding Engineers - Lesson Nine
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

posted by Dash | 3:05 PM | |