Mattel recently announced the release of Limited-Edition Barbie dolls for the San Antonio market.

Terrell Hills Barbie:This collagen injected, rhino-plastic Barbie wears a leopard print spandex outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends on her boat. Percocet prescription available.

The Dominion Barbie:This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or HummerH2. Included is her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private school Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Incarnate Word Barbie:Comes with standard issue University of Incarnate Word shorts with "UIW" printed largely on the butt. Also comes wearing "themed" sorority party T-shirt, hair in a pony tail and a gaggle of similar looking friends, each carrying the latest in "knock off" Kate Spade bags. Honda Civic, undecided major, and drunken backward hat Frat Ken sold separately.

Stone Oak Barbie:This princess Barbie is only sold in La Cantera. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a longhaired foreign dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift.NOTE: Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.

Windcrest Barbie:This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with a Ford Windstar minivan and matching velour gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately.

Selma Barbie:Short, highly tanned and ready to land a husband, um... we mean, get an education.

Marbach Road Barbie:This confused doll speaks English with a Spanish accent or vice versa, and already has a back tattoo. Comes with a 1996 Chevy Truck with bumper sticker stating "I do not live on the West Side, I live on the Northwest Side". The optional Ken is undecided.

San Pedro/North Main Barbie (Ken?):This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts.

Glens Barbie:This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9 mm handgun, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash, preferably small, unmarked bills.

South Side Barbie:This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED, black lipstick and a bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Converse Barbie:This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Bulverde Barbie:This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Converse Barbie's (discontinued) house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

Helotes Barbie:Can be found within 5 miles of their childhood home, at El Chapparal from 10:30am-7:00pm, Floore's from 8p-1130p, and Cowboy Bar from 1130p 'til they go home with Ken (the same guy they were dating in high school).

Action Helotes Barbie comes with pull-string & voicebox complaining about the loss of Handy Andy, Albertson's, and the innocence that was once Helotes. Helotes Barbie is clothed in Wal-Mart attire bought outside Helotes city limits.

H/T to the morning e-mailbag.

posted by Dash | 5:55 AM | |

Well, it's about time somebody came up with this.

Look out E-bay, here I come!

posted by Dash | 3:19 PM | |

This little blog turned over 30,000 hits late last night. Congrats to the person who was searching for "New Yorkers vs. McDonalds."

At this rate, I'll get as many hits as Denny at Grouchy Old Cripple has now, sometime in the year 2056. Of course, I'll be 90 (some odd) years old and won't give a rat's ass. I'll be looking back and saying, "remember when I had only 30,000 hits?"

In fact, if I'm still alive, chances are I'll be the grouchy old cripple by then. But, everyone needs goals. Right?

Speaking of "looking back", check this out.

posted by Dash | 8:00 AM | |

Sunday I followed a referral to a blog that was pretty nauseating. I'll not link to it because I don't want this person to benefit from her hate.

The blogger is a middle-aged woman who is so extemely full of left-wing bile, that it's truly sickening to read. It seems the basic theme of every post is that all Republicans (especially the current administration) are nothing more than hate filled racists who want to ruin the world for all the good lefties like her while making themselves and their friends wealthy.

I find it a little ironic that she is accusing the right of being so full of hate. That's exactly what I see coming from her. Some of the stuff is just pathetic and repugnant. I actually felt a little sorry for this woman. How truly empty her life must be.

On the other hand, I read something today that lifted my spirits somewhat. Just when you think there's no middle ground between the left and the right, you get hit with a good one.

Susan Estrich has never been one of my favorite libs, but this article made me stop and say, "Bravo!"

I watch very little TV, but I have to admit I do like to watch Fox News. I watch it for three things - 1) actual objective news coverage; 2) subjective commentary from all political sides; and 3) entertainment.

The entertainment part usually comes from the particularly obvious spin that emanates from number 2 above.

Although Ms. Estrich says some whacky things from time to time, she picked up some respect points from me with the article. How often can you say that about someone who is ostensibly playing for the other side?

There was a time in this country when good healthy debate in conjunction with a sense of reasonable thought ruled. Today, more often than not, each side does nothing more than fire a few shots across the enemy's bow in hopes that one or two of them will hit its target. Then the fight is over before it started. Talking points are spewed and then the spewer exits before the spewee has a chance to respond. Or if there is a response, it doesn't address the point, but becomes counter-spew which is off-topic.

Back to Ms. Estrich. In this article she stands up to her Democrat critics who tell her that her employer (Fox News) is evil and she should shun them. After all, their right-wing bias is obvious.

Enough is enough. What gives people who have never worked a day in the news business the right to throw stones and call names with impunity, because Fox News is the target?

I’ve taken a lot of heat from the left for working for Fox News, and frankly, I’m a little bit sick of it. The truth is that I’ve been very well treated at Fox: I say what I want; I’m treated with respect; and I’m paid well.

The way I see my job is to try to present the strongest arguments possible to the most important voters in the country, which I think is pretty critical for my party. Democrats who refuse to appear on Fox News because of their claims of conservative "bias" are in fact foregoing an important opportunity to reach swing voters who might actually decide elections.

The irony is that I find that often, simply by occupying the middle, I can win the fight. And what do I get from my friends on the left? Criticism that I’m not a real Democrat because I’m too centrist… How dare I be pragmatic?

I'm glad to see she has the guts to stand up for what is right and that she can argue in a cilvilized manner. Maybe some of her friends will follow her lead.

posted by Dash | 10:51 AM | |

Shamelessly stolt from El Capitan. He stolt it his ownself, so that makes it okay. Besides, he said to feel free to steal it from him. So, is it really stealing after all?

Here goes.

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? Nope. Even when I was thrown in jail for speeding, I was never searched. I guess I didn't meet the profile for drug runner.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster? No, I prefer to see what I'm puking on.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding? Sledding? Like in snow? I'm thinking never. I've been skiing, but never sledding. We don't get much snow in south Texas.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? It depends. I'd rather sleep with my wife, but I'd rather not have to share a bed with a sqirming kid. I don't mind sleeping alone, though.

5. Do you believe in ghosts? Not even a little bit.

6. Do you consider yourself creative? I can be creative, but generally, I don't consider myself as being creative.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife? Yeah, the evidence was there. The lawyers and judge botched the whole thing and he got off.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? Neither one really turns my crank, but if I had to pick one on a pure hotness scale, I'd have to go with Angelina.

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics? I guess I know enough to be totally disgusted by politicians. As far as I'm concerned, 98% of them are lower than scum on a swamp. The remaining 2% don't have the balls to do anything about it.

10. Do you know how to play poker? No, never played. What is it anyway? Can anybody teach me? How much money do you have?

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? Yeah, I've worked 48 hours straight before. It was brutal. I don't recommend it.

12. What's your favorite commercial? Bud Light.

13. Who was your first love? Marsha Brady

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light? Yeah, if I'm sure there are no other cars around. I did get a ticket once for rolling through a stop sign in my neighborhood at 5AM when no one was around except for the cop hiding in the dark. So, I'm a little more cautious after that.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? Of course. Doesn't everyone? We'll keep it that way, too.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees? Pftt! Neither. I'm an Astros fan.

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating? Yes. It took me a while to get the hang of it, but it was fun. I never got good enough to be able to play hockey, though.

18. How often do you remember your dreams? Occasionally. Sometimes it takes something happening during the day to jog my memory.

19. What's the one thing on your mind? What's for dinner?

20. Do you always wear your seat belt? Yes. I started wearing it before it was a law. I had a couple of bad crashes when I was in my early 20's that made me a believer.

21. What talent do you wish you had? Music. I love it and never took any lessons until recently. Maybe one day...

22. Do you like Sushi? No. I don't care for it. I consider it bait.

23. What do you wear to bed? A smile.

24. Do you truly hate anyone? No, not truly. I seriously dislike some people, though.

25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be? My wife's pretty famous, so I'll count my blessings.

26. Do you know anyone in jail? Not to my knowledge. I knew a guy who did some time for drug dealing about 20 years ago. I'm sure he's out by now.

27. What food do you find disgusting? Not too big on liver and other organs.

28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back? No, I usually wait until they're around. If they're really your friends, doing it behind their backs wouldn't be cool.

29. Have you ever been punched in the face? Yeah, but not too much. I'm pretty good at defending myself.

30. Do you believe in angels and demons? No, not in a physical way. I think some people have stronger consciences than others.

Well, there you have it - a little glimpse into the Dashman.

posted by Dash | 10:26 AM | |

This restaurant is getting some complaints about its name.

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. - The name of a new restaurant in Scottsdale is stirring up trouble. The Las Vegas-based Pink Taco Mexican Restaurant is scheduled to open its second location in downtown Scottsdale in June.

Scottsdale Mayor Mary Manross has said she is offended by the name and went so far as to ask the owner to change it, although he refused.

I've heard the owner has since changed his mind and has decided to open a New England style restaurant and will call it The Bearded Clam.

posted by Dash | 1:59 PM | |

Thomas Jefferson faced a lingering foreign crisis early in his administration. For more than twenty years, he had been urging military action against Arab corsairs on the Barbary coast. These were fast, cheap warships that preyed upon merchant shipping along the northern shore of Africa. Various Arab rulers there would regularly declare war against European countries and then begin seizing their ships and men. The captured crews would be held for ransom or sold in the market as slaves. “Christians are cheap today!” was the auctioneer’s cry.

This practice had been going on for centuries.As many as a million and a quarter Europeans had been enslaved by Muslims operating out of North Africa. When he served as America’s minister to France in the mid-1780s, Jefferson had once confronted an Arab diplomat, demanding to know by what right his country attacked Americans in the Mediterranean:

The Ambassador answered us that it was founded on the Laws of the Prophet, that it was written in their Koran, that all nations who should not have answered their authority were sinners, that it was their right and duty to make war upon them wherever they could be found, and to make slaves of all they could take as prisoners.

Confronted by such obstinacy, Jefferson appealed to John Adams, who was then America’s minister to England. But Adams was unwilling to fight. Jefferson resolved from those early days to fight the Muslim hostage-takers. “We ought to begin a naval power, if we mean to carry on our own commerce. Can we begin it on a more honourable occasions or with a weaker foe?” he wrote to James Madison in 1784. The kidnapping and ransoming of American merchantmen continued for nearly twenty years.

The Washington and Adams administrations had gone along with the European practice of paying off the Barbary rulers. It was a protection racket, pure and simple. Adams believed paying tribute was cheaper than war. “We ought not to fight them at all unless we determine to fight them forever,” he said. Paying off the Barbary rulers was not cheap. When Jefferson came into office, the United States had already paid out nearly $2 million. This was nearly one fifth of the federal government’s yearly income!

The Bashaw of Tripoli declared war on the United States in 1801. Jefferson was determined to fight rather than pay tribute. Jefferson sent Commodore Edward Preble in command of the USS Constitution to strengthen America’s naval forces in the Mediterranean Sea. Preble stirred American hearts with his spirited reply to an arrogant British naval captain who had challenged him in to identify himself when shrouded in fog.“This is His Britannic Majesty’s ship Donnegal, 84 guns,” the captain hailed, demanding Preble put over a boat and prepare to be searched. “This is the United States ship Constitution, Edward Preble, an American commodore, who will be damned before he sends his boat on board of any vessel. Strike your matches, boys!” Faced with this threat of cannon fire, the Royal Navy captain backed down. Before Preble could arrive, however, the USS Philadelphia went aground off Tripoli harbor. TheBashaw took the crew captive.

Young Navy Lieutenant Stephen Decatur knew that he must not allow the Bashaw to convert the Philadelphia to his own use. He stole into the harbor by night and set the ship ablaze. America’s consul in Tunis, William Eaton, followed this daring exploit. He gathered a motley crew of U.S. Marines, sailors, Greek and Arab mercenaries and their camels. Eaton marched his men five hundred miles across the Libyan desert to take the coastal town of Derna. Three U.S. warships, in a coordinated attack, bombarded the town. From this stunning victory, the Marine hymn takes the line “to the shores of Tripoli” and their officers still wear Mameluke swords shaped like Arab scimitars. Stephen Decatur added to his reputation by offering this famous toast: “Our Country: In her intercourse with foreign nations, may she always be in the right; but our country right or wrong!”

By 1805, the pirates had had enough. Jefferson’s willingness to use force had triumphed in America’s first war on terror in the Middle East.

This is an excerpt from Bill Bennett’s latest book, America: The Last Best Hope.

posted by Dash | 1:20 PM | |

I just read this one and it's a little more than I can... er... digest. I like wild game and a lot of different types of food, but this guy is going a little too far for my tastes.

I've eaten deer, elk, moose, buffalo, bear, turtle, alligator, squid, crawfish, oysters, snails, tripe, liver, chitterlings, rabbit, squirrel, dove, duck, goose, quail, pheasant, chukar, raccoon, armadillo, shark, gar, squab, bull nuts, gizzards, wild boar, hogs head cheese, menudo, cabrito, rattlesnake, and a lot of other things I can't remember right now.

But, I have to draw the line somewhere.

This is a long read, but after I read it, all I could think of was Hannibal Lechter.

posted by Dash | 3:05 PM | |

Here's one for my drinkin' buddies.

posted by Dash | 10:49 AM | |

Today I read a comment over at Gut Rumbles that got me thinking. It has to do with gas prices. One commenter started spouting off about how it was all Bush's fault. It's all about Bush taking care of his oil company friends.

These days, it's so damn easy to be cynical and expect the worst when it comes to things that happen in the world that we don't like very much. So many people want to believe that everything is the result of a conspiracy.

I wrote a sarcastic comment in response - probably shouldn't have. Sorry Rob, for using your bandwidth to tell the guy (commenter) I think he's an idiot. Although, the idiot probably didn't get my point, anyway.

So, I was going to write a post about why people should think a little before they spout off all these conspiracy theories about why gas prices go up and down. Then I ran across an article by Thomas Sowell that says what I was thinking - only very much more succinctly and intelligently than I could ever hope for.

Here's the link, but I think it's so good that I'm going to post the entire article for your reading pleasure. If more people would understand this, there would be a lot less consternation regarding the whole subject.

Amid all the hysteria among politicians and in the media over rising gasoline prices, and all the outraged indignation about oil company profits and their executives' high pay and lavish perks, has anybody bothered to even estimate how much effect any of this actually has on the price we pay at the pump?

If the profit per gallon of gas were reduced to zero, would that be enough to reduce the price by even a dime? If the oil company executives were to work free of charge, would that be enough to reduce the price of gasoline by even a penny a gallon?

Surely media loudmouths making millions of dollars a year and the multibillion dollar TV networks they work for can afford to get some statistics and buy a pocket calculator to do the arithmetic before spouting off nationwide.

But this is the age of emotion, not analysis.

Politicians are even more hypocritical. The government collects far more in taxes on every gallon of gasoline than the oil companies collect in profits. If oil company profits are "obscene," as some politicians claim, are the government's taxes PG-13?

The very politicians who have piled tax after tax on gasoline over the years, and voted to prohibit oil drilling offshore or in Alaska, and who have made it impossible to build a single oil refinery in decades, are all over the television screens denouncing the oil companies. In other words, those who supply oil are being denounced and demonized by those who have been blocking the supply of oil.

Given the vast amounts of gasoline sold across the length and breadth of this nation, and given the mega-billion dollars involved, whether or not some corporate executive has an inflated pay scale is unlikely to explain the price of gasoline.

It may allow some people in the media to vent their emotions and some politicians to create a bogeyman, since they can't play St. George without a dragon. But cheap demagoguery cannot explain expensive gas.

When the two most heavily populated nations on earth -- China and India -- have rapidly growing economies and rapidly escalating importations of oil, how could that not affect the world price of oil? After all, the price of oil is determined in the international markets, contrary to conspiracy theories that keep turning up whenever gas prices rise.

Those conspiracy theories have been investigated time and again, without uncovering anything. But it is still a clever political ploy to ask for more investigations when gas prices rise. If nothing else, it distracts attention from those who have been blocking all attempts to enable us to use our own oil.

Nothing is easier, or more emotionally satisfying, than blaming high prices on those who charge them, rather than on those who cause them. The same thing happens when stores in high-crime neighborhoods charge higher prices than stores in safer neighborhoods.

Both crime and precautions against crime add to the cost of doing business and this adds to the prices. But seldom, if ever, do those who decry the high prices blame those prices on the crime, vandalism, and violence committed by local inhabitants.

Where the stores are owned by a different ethnic group, such as Asians in black ghettoes, it is virtually guaranteed that the store owners will be denounced for "gouging," "discrimination" and whatever other political rhetoric will rouse the emotions.

People with no experience in business, no knowledge of history, and utterly ignorant of economics do not hesitate to leap from high prices to greedy profit-makers. Many of these ignorant people are on nationwide television and some are in Congress.

Many, if not most, of the great American fortunes -- Rockefeller, Carnegie, Ford -- have been made by finding ways to charge lower prices, not higher.

In the early 20th century, the A & P grocery chain became renowned for both its low prices and its high quality. Its profit rate never fell below 20 percent during the decade of the 1920s. That's a higher rate of profit than the oil companies make.

The relationship between prices and profit rates is not as simple as media hype or political demagoguery claims.

-Thomas Sowell

That's some good stuff, right there.

posted by Dash | 10:07 AM | |

...there are people starving in Mississippi?

"You no make happy plate! You no come back!"

posted by Dash | 10:54 AM | |

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

H/T to my buddy Jim and the morning e-mailbag.

posted by Dash | 10:55 AM | |

I'm shocked to see this story.

It appears the homicide rate has spiked in Houston this year. The reason?

It's the Katrina effect.

Can you believe it? The murder rate would have gone down by nearly 8% if not for the refugees the city took in last summer.

I'd bet Houston will think twice before they offer help again.

posted by Dash | 10:14 AM | |

I've been reading about and listening to all the rhetoric about the recent uprising of the illegal immigrants. Some guy came on Bill O'Reilly the other night and said it was demeaning and dehumanizing to call them "illegal aliens."

He said we should be more tolerant of their plight and the best thing to do would be to treat them as fellow human beings and recognize their rights.

I have a problem with that. First of all, to dispute the fact that they are ILLEGAL is ludicrous. Part of what makes our country great is that we do invite people to come here from other countries. It's what got us started. But, we want them to follow our laws and immigrate accordingly. Why is that so hard to understand?

If they're not illegal aliens, what are they? That term is not dehumanizing. It's what they are. Nobody is saying they deserve to be killed or tortured. I'm sorry if they're insulted, but they're breaking our laws and taking advantage of the benefits we've worked so hard to achieve. If they want a better life, they have many options. One of them should not be to take advantage of us.

I haven't traveled to a lot of other countries, but those I have gone to sure as hell made me comply with their laws. When they stamp your passport in another country, they do so with the understanding that you won't stay forever, you won't get employment, and you won't take advantage of benefits that are paid for by their citizens' taxes. I don't have a problem with that.

Why should it be any different here? Even Mexico has strict immigration laws. If you are caught in their country without proper papers, they won't give you free health care or welfare. You will go straight to jail. After a couple of years, when they get around to pushing you through their court system, they deport your foreign ass. There's no looking the other way. They mean business. As far as they're concerned, you're a criminal.

One of the quotes that came from the demonstrations this week was, "We are the backbone of what America is, legal or illegal, it doesn't matter." Well, excuse me. It does matter to me and most of about 270 million people who are in this country legally. If we cannot or will not control our borders, what is it that defines our country? What is our reason for being a country?

One of my workmates is a hard working fellow from South Africa. He has been working toward becomming a U.S. citizen for several years now - at a sizable expense, too. He says what good does it do to take a number and wait your turn when they're letting so many just cut in line and go directly to the front? I agree. And I know a lot of legal Mexican/Americans agree, too.

It's kind of like when you're in traffic and you've been waiting your turn to get somewhere, and out of nowhere comes a couple of smart asses who cut in front of you at the last second. That's what causes road rage.

The political part of it is that the Democrats want them to stay. They need more people to vote for them. Lately, they're not doing so well and any new voters are welcome. The businesses are saying these illegals are doing work Americans don't want to do. Even Vicente Fox said that.

I don't buy that on its face value. It's true that they are doing those jobs, but it's not because there's a shortage of American workers. There's more of an economic reason. That reason is employers aren't willing to pay competitive wages, which is what Americans would demand. Illegals have shown that they will work for lower wages and employers are taking advantage of that to improve their profits.

In my opinion, this is where we need to address the illegal alien problem. We should make it hard on employers who are willing to hire the illegals and take advantage of the low wage workers. What we're doing is creating a permanent underclass of workers who have no hope of advancing. If we hit employers with substantial penalties, the workers will have to leave.

It's a bad situation when we're farming out jobs to the likes of India, China and others, while we're hiring illegal immigrants to perform low wage jobs here. I know it's just business, but it doesn't make any sense. Something's going to have to give.

I think the demonstrations and "boycott" that happened on Monday did more harm to their cause than good. Before, most normal people weren't too concerned about the illegal invasion. Now, with them getting in our faces and demanding rights and such, more people are getting educated on the pros and cons of letting these people just come in at will. I think they're starting to realize there are a lot more cons than pros and will demand something be done about it.

At least I hope so.

posted by Dash | 3:05 PM | |

I've been reading some blogmeet reports about this event, and I'm glad to hear everyone had a good time. I wanted to do the same; but, there's absolutely no way I'll be able to do justice to the weekend I just experienced.

Although several of the memories are somewhat blurry from the mass quantities of Shiners I consumed, it's been a long time since I've had a more enjoyable weekend. In fact, the last one I can remember that rivals it was when we met in NOLA last summer.

One of the reasons I was excited about this one was that I'd be able to see some of the folks I met last summer in the Big Easy. The other reason was that I'd finally get the chance to meet some of my favorite bloggers that I've been reading for a long time.

After reading someone's blog for a year or two, commenting back and forth, and e-mailing to one another, you feel like you know that person. But, until you actually meet these folks face to face, you just never know whether you'll really like them.

Let me tell you - I have rarely been disappointed after meeting someone in person. Usually, it's the other way around and I'm even more impressed than before. These folks are incredible.

Other family obligations prevented me from spending the entire weekend with the gang, but I'm glad we were able to make it back Saturday night to spend some more time with everybody.

Let me give you my impression of everybody I met. This is going to be a long list and I hope I don't forget anyone. If I do, let me know and I'll fix it.

First thing is to say a huge THANK YOU! to my girl Shoe. She was the brains behind this whole thing and it wouldn't have happened if not for her. She ran the shuttle to and from the airport and was the welcoming committee to all those coming to our great state for the first time. Shoe is a true Texas Babe and I'm proud to call her my friend.

Most of the out-of-staters flew in, but a few of them decided to drive. That 1 Guy and Tammi drove straight through on Thursday night and rolled into Austin on Friday morning. I had been wanting to meet those two for a long time. Tammi was about like what I expected from reading her blog - funny, smart and... tall. It's not every day I can look a girl eye-to-eye. She is a doll.

T1G surprised me a little, but in a good way. Think "gentle giant." This guy is a big man who is as polite and soft spoken as anyone I've ever met. He's funny, too. I wish I'd had more time to visit with him. Thanks for meeting me for lunch on Friday. I'm sorry I missed the guitar playing on Saturday, but I won't miss it next time.

Redneck was there. I was glad he made it. I've been trying to get him down to Texas for a while. Thanks for the conversation, Neckman. I hope we didn't wear you out too bad. Next time we'll just go fishing and drink some suds.

Another one who drove cross country to get here was my friend Denny. The guy just exudes class. I don't think I've been to a blogmeet when he wasn't there, entertaining the masses with his superb guitar picking, great stories and infectious laugh. Thanks for making the long ride again Denny. I know I'll be seeing you again.

El Capitan came over from Houston to help organize the Friday dinner. He did a great job and then wasn't able to come eat with us. His car had other plans for him that night. I'm glad it wasn't any worse though. Thanks for the Boddington's, my friend. It was good to visit with you again.

The other Houston blogger was Marcus. I've been wanting to meet this guy for a while. I want to do some bay fishing and smoke some stogies with him. I hope you'll give us a shout next time you come to the Guadalupe.

Leslie was a lot of fun. She seems like the kind of person who would party with you all hours. She knows how to have a good time and I like that in a person. Thanks for making the long trip. It was a pleasure meeting you and talking with you.

I was glad to see my girl Kelley made it. I think she had a good time even if she couldn't drink. She and Shoe were joined at the hip and kept each other in line. That was a little different from the experience in NOLA, but I'm glad you came and I hope you'll come back. You know you're one of my favorites.

Eric was another one I had been wanting to meet for a good while. He's my blog grand-daddy after all. I was jealous of his flat belly and smooth talk. He's a lady killer. Come back down here and we'll play some pool, drink some scotch and float the river for a while.

The life of the party was Livey. For someone who doesn't even drink, she was a ball of fire. Her enthusiasm was contagious and I think she kept everybody on their toes. You had to be ready for a bear hug or an ass squeeze whenever she was around. I hope you enjoyed your visit to Texas, girl.

Jimbo and his lovely daughter TJ came all the way from Joisey. It was a pleasure showing them a small piece of Texas from my pickup truck. I was shocked when they both told me it was their first ride in one. I missed Jim's guitar playing and TJ's singing, but like I said before, I won't miss it again if I get half a chance. Thanks to both of you for coming.

I enjoyed visiting with the Confabulator. He seems like the kind of guy you could sit down and talk to for hours and not get tired. I hope I get to see you again sometime, too.

It was good to finally meet Rob. I know he's been through a helluva lot lately and I'm glad to see he's looking good and taking care of himself. He seems like a good guy who I wouldn't mind getting to know a little better if given the chance. Thanks for coming to Texas, Rob. I'm sorry I missed your guitar playing, too. I heard it was great.

Oddybobo is a cutie. She was full of enough energy and laughter to keep everybody going the whole weekend. Thanks for coming all the way from PA. We enjoyed seeing you.

Beth and Spats were a couple of folks I met last summer at another meet. It was good to see them again. I hope y'all had fun at the shooting range on Saturday. Unfortunately, I didn't really get to meet any of the others who came to the Salt Lick with you. Maybe we'll have more time at the next one.

Denita and Eric (and the little one) were at the Salt Lick when we arrived. It was great to see them again. I hope we'll get to see you later in the summer, too. You live too close not to.

There once was a bard named Elisson who took time away from the salt mines to be with us. This guy is way bigger than his blog, folks. I think he and I share a somewhat warped sense of humor and I really enjoyed visiting with him and listening to his jokes and stories. Come see us again, sir.

Boudicca was everything I imagined and then some. Wow! She packs smart, funny, self confident and good looks, all into a little package you could put in your shirt pocket. All I can say without fear of getting into too much trouble is that her husband is a very lucky man. It was a pleasure meeting you and I hope you'll bring your family back to Texas some day.

I finally met fellow Texan, Walrilla. He is a kind of quiet guy at first, but will open up with a little time and a few brews. I enjoyed visiting with you, man. I hope you'll give us a shout when you come back down south.

I was very glad to see my main man Zonker there. After the abuse he suffered last time he came to Texas, I was worried he might not want to come back. I'm glad you decided to tough it out, my friend. It wouldn't be a real blogmeet without you there. You know you're welcome anytime you get the urge to come back. We'll even feed you.

Unfortunately, I didn't really get a chance to visit with Nancy or Mike. For some reason, it seemed like every time I'd try to make my way over, something else would happen and then when I looked up you were gone. I hope you had a good time and I hope I get to visit with you next time.

Knine was there Saturday night and unfortunately I missed some good stories. One I heard about involved screaming hordes of cocaine-crazed chipmonks. Damn - I'm sorry I missed that one! Hopefully I'll get another chance sometime.

The non-blogger who has become part of my family is Miss Susan. Everybody always loves to see her and I'm glad she took time out of her busy social life to hang out with us bloggers. You are a brave woman. Thanks for being such a good friend.

Another non-blogger who was a hit was my own maw-in-law. She was the one who made the won-tons we fed on until the BBQ was ready. What a life saver. Thank you for joining us. I hope you don't think we're all too crazy.

Last, but certainly not least is the love of my life, the mother of my beautiful children, the lovely Christina. Without her I would have never had the opportunity to meet all these great people. You are my rock and don't ever forget it. Thank you for spending a great weekend with me.

Well, that's all I can remember right now, but give me a couple of hours and I'll see if any more come to mind.

posted by Dash | 10:45 AM | |