posted by Dash | 12:05 PM | |

It's funny how reading other posts on blogs makes you remember similar stories. I followed a comment back to a blog I had never read before and saw a good post on the art of catching bullfrogs.

I knew it had been a long time since I had written it, but in a heartbeat this post came back to me. Thank goodness for the search function on Blogger. Otherwise it might have taken me a while to locate that post from a couple of years back.

Here is the post that jarred my memory. I'm guessing he found The Boiling Point through a new blog on my blogroll - Deer Camp Blog.

Rex has some good stories, too. You should go check him out.

posted by Dash | 6:16 AM | |

Okay sports fans. Here's the low down on the golf tournament on Monday. It has taken me three days to get halfway caught up enough to get a few words out about it. Boy, you miss one day at work and the damn bottom falls out.

Anyway, we had a splendid day on the links. The weather was pretty close to perfect and the course was as good as I've seen it in years. All the rain we've been having lately has really turned this place we call central Texas into a little slice of heaven.

The day was a success in numerous ways. No, my team didn't win the tourny, but we did manage to raise $125K for our favorite local charity. That's a good feeling, my friends. Last year we were happy to raise $100K, but this year we wanted to beat that mark. So thanks to all of the effort of our tournament committee and the generosity of our sponsors, we did it.

My team consisted of myself, our corporate safety director and two lawyers from the firm our company uses on occasion. I think the lawyers were happy to have been grouped with us because they had sued pretty much everybody else in the tournament.

We started off with a bang and birdied the first three holes. I was scorching my driver and my putter was hot. I guess I spoke too soon, saying "I think we might win this thing," because on number four, the freakin wheels fell off. We didn't play bad - the putts just stopped falling. Consequently we didn't score another birdie for about 6 more holes.

We did birdie the hardest hole on the course though. It was a long par three over a beautiful creek with waterfalls. I hit a perfect 5 iron about 185 yards to about 15 feet below the pin and my buddy John rolled it into the middle of the cup for a two.

The other highlight of the round was a shot I hit on number 15. It's a short par four with a hidden green. I hit my drive 320 yards and it rolled right up on the green. Of course we two putted the hole for a birdie, but I was pumped about driving the green and being able to putt for a possible eagle.

I hit my share of poor shots too, but all in all, I was pleased with my play. There were some good teams out there, so we didn't even come close to winning, but we had a great time. My motto is, "Even a shitty day on the golf course is better than a good day at work."

I've decided I really like the new sticks. The TaylorMade R7's are just right for the average amateur who needs a combination of feel and forgiveness. The new technology these days has really helped those of us who are getting a little older and who have less time to practice.

What's in the bag?

My irons are regular flex R7's with steel shafts. The driver I'm hitting is an R7 460cc, 9.5 degree loft, regular flex with a graphite REAX shaft. My 3 wood a V-Steel with the same shaft and my favorite club is my 3 iron hybrid TaylorMade Rescue club. I'm telling you, hitting that club is like cheating, it's so easy to hit. I hit it about 200 - 210 yards right down the middle almost every time I pick it up. I could never hit a regular 3 iron that consistently. Finally, my putter is an Odyssey White Hot mallet type putter.

Stay tuned for the next aventure in golf and hit 'em straight!

posted by Dash | 12:36 PM | |

It's been another crazy week at work, boys and girls. As my friend Elisson would say, it's been rough at the old salt mine. Not to mention all the goings on at the homestead.

I am planning to take off Monday to play in a charity golf tournament and the break will be welcome. I need to try out these new TaylorMade R7's I just bought. Hopefully the nice weather will hold out. The last three times I've scheduled a golf game, it has rained.

There are several stories running around in my addled brain right now that I need to get into a post. The problem is finding the time to do it.

I'll do my best to do that very soon.

Let this serve as an early wish to all the mothers out there, Sam and Zonker not included.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

posted by Dash | 2:41 PM | |

...George W. Bush SHOULD give:

Normally, I start these things out by saying "My Fellow Americans…" Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don’t know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you’re really not fellow Americans any longer.

I’ll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: there’s been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I’m quitting is simple. I’m fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or of what’s going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.

Let's start local. You’ve been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the tank. And that’s despite record numbers of homeowners including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners.

And while we’re mentioning minorities, I’ll point out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high.

Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton Administration. I’ve mentioned all those things before, but it doesn’t seem to have sunk in.

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there’s increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security.

We face real threats in the world. Don’t give me this "blood for oil" thing. If I was trading blood for oil I would’ve already seized Iraq’s oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don’t give me this "Bush Lied, People Died" crap either. If I was the liar you morons take me for, I could’ve easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be "discovered." Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.

Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. And that includes most of our brilliant Congress. Pelosi, Kennedy, Gore, and even Hillary Clinton are all on record railing against the madman Saddam. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy long before I came into office. Some guy named Clinton established that policy. Bet you didn’t know that, did you?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to outspend and out-tech them.

That’s not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don’t care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That’d be fine, as long as they weren’t also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you. And the evil bastards are all over the globe.

You should be grateful that they haven’t gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But you’re not. That’s because you’ve got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that.

When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I’m disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of "Survivor."

Instead, you’ve grown impatient. You’re incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat’s political campaign, well, dammit, you might just as well Fedex a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it’s easy enough to find the truth. It’s all over the Internet. It just isn’t on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you’d be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol.

I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you’re too stupid to leave a city that’s below sea level and has a hurricane approaching. I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I’ve come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So I quit. I’m going back to Crawford. I’ve got an energy-efficient house down there (one Al Gore could only dream about) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I’m done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again.

Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney’s quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there’re just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that’s it. God bless what’s left of America. Some of you know what I mean.
The rest of you, piss off.

Oh, and good luck with Iran. I'm sure once we get out of Iraq, they'll quit making plans to nuke the infidels.

posted by Dash | 12:06 PM | |